How to Evolve in Relationships ?

Evolve or Resolve?

Resolutions are the most celebrated word when the clock ticks 2359hrs of every year December 31, resolutions have been part of your breath and mine too that’s only on every new-year. In your daily routine, family, business, trades, personal life and what not; when it comes to a relationship should we resolve or evolve?

How to evolve in relationships!!

Resolving manifests the ability to solve a problem or difficulty, finding an answer, making a decision, bringing a disagreement to an end. Though we certainly do solve problems, make decisions and conclude conflicts with our partners, are we fully finishing it? No.

Most couples have chronic issues that they continue to negotiate for a lifetime. Our relationships are in a continual process of “evolution,” growing healthier and stronger or becoming weaker and more fragile. It is the never-ending, continual process of consciously creating the head and heart connecting the ongoing actions and words exchanged between two people.

One of our most valuable human characteristics is the capacity to consciously evolve. Once we reach a certain point of self-awareness what happens is significantly interpersonal relationship fails to keep pace with our self-creation?

There are three parts to every relationship; you, your partner, and the relationship that the two of you create by virtue of what you bring to the table.

As we evolve, our contribution to the relationship changes. If our partner is not moving in parallel with us, the relationship can become limiting to the point of frustration.

Moving in a similar mental & physical state doesn’t mean evolving together. Rather, it is a decision to acceptance of change and a recognition that things are not only different from now but will continue to become different further.

For example, if one partner has in the past been less fortunate, he or she has set up anticipation around deception. Should that same partner choose to work on becoming more transparent while the other partner continues to exercise his or her expectation that there is bound to be some deception, the relationship becomes unbalanced. With the gap between evolution and expectation maintained, or even magnified, this imbalance will then lead to absolute instability.

Understanding that an effort towards transparency will likely be met with resistance based on past expectations provides us with some different perspectives. This understanding allows us to hold space for the resistance, giving our partner by association and the relationship giving an opportunity to catch up.

The key here is to set a personal boundary that holds space and allow for that partner’s resistance without putting ourselves at risk or disadvantage.

As an author,

For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is the person. And we are finally home!!!

Involve & Evolve!!!